


Wilted

by semezuka



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ....not much porn either tho, Dom/sub Undertones, Don't @ Me, I Don't Even Know, Kuroo is a meme, M/M, Nonsense, Orgasm Denial, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, i don't even remember writing this, no penises were harmed in the making of this fic, this is why we can't have nice things: the sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 09:08:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9431963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/semezuka/pseuds/semezuka
Summary: Kenma is 100000% done with Kuroo's shit.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BellaNotFromTwilight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BellaNotFromTwilight/gifts), [Kinkyweeb69](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kinkyweeb69/gifts).



“Are you ready for my weapon of ass destruction?” Kuroo asked, wriggling his eyebrows. Kenma rolled his eyes.

“Kuroo, I swear to God if you ever call your dick that ever again, I am going to rip it off and feed it to the cat.” Kenma threatened.

“Ya know,” Kuroo commented, “if I weren’t so used to this kind of thing, my boner would be soooo gone right now.”

Kenma suddenly gripped Kuroo’s dick in his right hand. Kuroo groaned.

“Listen to me,” Kenma articulated, “I will not allow you to come for as long as I desire if you call your dick a name as asinine as ‘your weapon of ass destruction’ again.” Kuroo whimpered at Kenma’s sudden display of dominance. He figured he might as well have some fun with this.

“Okay, I understand.” Kenma let his grip loosen around Kuroo’s cock slightly. Kuroo began to grin smugly, which anyone who has ever met Kuroo Tetsurou for any amount of time longer than five minutes will know is probably not a good sign. “I think I will start calling it…my Bazooka.”

Kenma deadpanned, “Kuroo. I am literally holding your dick right now. I can say it is far less impressive than what you seem to think it is.”

“Ouch. You cut me deep, Kenma.” Kuroo said sarcastically. Kenma tightened his grip on Kuroo’s dick once again, wiping the grin off his face in record time

“Fuck.” Kuroo hissed. He didn’t know if he would be able to tease Kenma much more because his cock would have been leaking if Kenma didn’t have it by the base.

“Alright,” Kuroo said in a tone that said he had given up. Kenma reluctantly released Kuroo’s dick.

“Hey,” Kuroo said softly, “don’t be angry at me, Kenma.” He grabbed both sides of Kenma’s face and they looked into each other’s eyes.

“I’m not angry. Just… why do you have to be like this? You tease me, make me pop a fucking boner, then just as you are about to fuck me, you call your dick—“

“Okay! I really am sorry. Look—“ Kuroo said as he opened the nightstand drawer and retrieved a small bottle of strawberry flavored lube and a condom. Kuroo took the condom out of the package, pinched the end, and rolled it onto his dick.

“Can I call it one more thing? Kenma I swear this one is genius and I just came up w-“

Kenma cut him off, “Kuroo, you remember the thing I said earlier about your dick and the cat? That is becoming less and less of an empty threat by the second.”

Kuroo sighed in defeat. He grabbed his dick and said in the iconic voice as he wiggled it around, “I am The Sperminator.”

Kenma tried his hardest not to laugh for a split second before he raised up off their bed, put his sweater and some boxers on, and walked away.

“Hey, where are you going? Come on, Kenma! That was a good one!” Kuroo called out, nearly crying with laughter at his own nonsense.

“My boner is GONE.” Kenma yelled from another room.


End file.
